


Proposals

by natantrash



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-21 11:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16575572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natantrash/pseuds/natantrash
Summary: Lucifer proposes to Natalie…several times. (Lucifer is just a dude with an unfortunate name AU)





	Proposals

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Natalie loved beachside markets, especially when they were on holiday weekends. She pulled Lucifer from shop to shop, surprised at his lack of protest. They’d only been dating for three months, but they spent a lot of time together, so she found herself able to predict even his smallest movements. They made their way through the tourist stands, making fun of of the cheesily designed “Venice Beach” shirts that looked like they would fall apart after two and a half washes. Lucifer’s eyes all but rolled out of his head when she started towing him toward a shop full of crystals, strange jewelry, and heavy drapes over the doorway. 

The drapes were surprisingly good at blocking out the hubbub in the rest of the marketplace. The scent of jasmine incense was thick in the air. The girl at the cash register didn’t even bat an eye at them when they entered, focusing on her phone. Lucifer loudly made a distasteful comment about the shop’s decor, and Natalie shushed him and pulled him behind a tall shelf near the entry. “We are the only people in here!” she whispered. 

“Yeah? So?”

“So be nice! And if you can’t be nice, at the very least keep your voice down!” She peeked around the corner of the shelf, happy to see that the girl at the cash register was still ignoring their existence.

“She doesn’t even give a shit, Nat. But fine. If we get to stay in this one quiet air conditioned shop for a while longer, I’ll behave.” 

“Good!” Natalie swooped her arm into the crook of Lucifer’s elbow and pulled him further down the small aisle. “Now look at this weird rock. I love it.” 

Lucifer bent down to get a closer look at the stone. “Hmm. Yep. I can see why.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s a penis.”

“It is NOT a penis!”

“Keep your voice down, remember?” There was a devilish glint in his eyes as the faintest smirk touched the corners of his lips.

Natalie blushed furiously. “You’re such an ass.” She elbowed him in his ribs, trying not to laugh. They moved through the shop, whispering silly jokes about the trinkets that littered the shelves. They were careful to keep their voices down and stay out of the line of sight of the cashier, though it was clear that the cashier paid them no mind whatsoever.

The pair came upon a jewelry case, filled with odd assortments. Some of them were clearly handmade. Natalie was not the type of person to poke fun at someone else’s hard work, but these pieces of jewelry were something else. They were all hideous. One ring caught Natalie’s attention above all. It was a ring that had so many clashing colors, it would make LisaFrank puke. Small brightly colored feathers and beads crammed themselves around the centerpiece of the ring, which appeared to be a small bird’s skull. Except something was off about the skull, like maybe it was made out of clay. Badly. Two dried lumps of hot glue sat where the eyes would have been. Maybe there used to be something there? Who knows. The whole thing was just plain ugly.

Natalie pointed it out to Lucifer and said, “Obviously when you propose to me, you have to use this remarkable piece of fine craftsmanship. Otherwise it’s no forever.”

Lucifer bit his lip and comically frowned, as he usually did when he was trying to maintain a coolguy exterior but wanted to laugh. “Oh, yes, clearly.” He nodded sternly.

Natalie laughed. She wasn’t sure how long it was going to last with this guy, but she knew that she was certainly having a lot of fun right now.

  
  


Sunday, February 14, 2016

Natalie straightened her dress as she walked into the restaurant. She was immediately overwhelmed by how  _ fancy  _ it was. It was easily the nicest place they’d ever gone on a date. It was so nice it made Natalie kind of uncomfortable. How did Lucifer even get a reservation here on Valentine’s Day? More importantly,  _ why _ did Lucifer get a reservation here on Valentine’s Day?

Sure they had a lot of fun and they’d been together for a little over ten months, but Lucifer was not one for overt romantic gestures. Or fine dining, for that matter.  _ Maybe he’s trying a little more because it’s our first Valentine’s Day as a couple _ , Natalie mused.  _ No, that doesn’t sound right at all… _

She searched for Lucifer in the restaurant, but when she couldn’t see him, she approached the hostess. Stuttering and feeling very self-conscious about the dawning realization that she’d never been to a restaurant that required reservations before, she managed to give the hostess her boyfriend’s name. The hostess told Natalie that she was the first to arrive and led her to a table. She tried to relax and not stare at the door waiting for Lucifer to get there.

When Lucifer finally arrived twenty minutes later, Natalie had done enough mental gymnastics to convince herself that this was possibly an incredibly cruel and subtle way of breaking up with her. She was about to give him a piece of her mind, but she noticed how he rushed to the table when the hostess pointed her out to him. 

“I’m so sorry, Nat. I got held up. I was… well, don’t worry about it.” 

Natalie’s ire quickly gave way to concern. Lucifer’s brow was beaded with sweat and his hair was uncharacteristically askew. “Ohmigod are you okay? Were you in an accident? DID SOMETHING HAP--”

“Calm down Nat, I’m fine. I got caught up in traffic.” Lucifer smoothed his hair back and straightened his jacket. Natalie was suspicious. His earlier tone certainly didn’t sound like it was a “just caught up in traffic” situation, but she decided to let it drop. She suddenly realized how hungry she was and that, despite staring at the menu for the last twenty minutes, she had not actually read it. 

She tried her best to put everything out of her mind and enjoy the date. They ordered their food and chatted about their respective days. Everything seemed fine. Everything was fine. Still, a restless energy emanated from Lucifer’s end of the table, and she noticed that he kept bobbing his knee up and down. Had he ever done that before? She tried to ignore it. 

Lucifer insisted on ordering dessert, much to Natalie’s surprise. She immediately remembered the time he refused to share a pizookie with her stating, “I don’t know why you’re gonna waste so much money on that dry-ass cookie, Nat, when you know you prefer those nasty twinkies you have at home.” He was right, of course. But he didn’t have to say it out loud. 

The dessert was finished, Natalie was stuffed and feeling kind of sleepy. “You did good, Luce,” she said, sighing contentedly. “This has been an excellent date.”

Lucifer looked as though he were fighting a smile at the corners of his lips. “Well, the date’s not over yet.” He stood up and raised his glass of champagne. “Attention, everyone,” he spoke out to the room full of strangers, “Please, if I could have your attention for one moment.” A few of the nearby patrons looked at him with polite disinterest, and the volume of the surrounding tables diminished slightly. Natalie felt her face growing warm.  _ What is he DOING? _

“Thank you. I just want to tell everyone that I am the luckiest man here. I know some of you may think that it’s not true, but I guarantee it is. I am the  _ luckiest _ man here because I am here with her,” he gestured to Natalie, who suddenly wished she had the ability to shrink as more people grew silent and began paying attention to what was going on. “I love this beautiful woman in front of me.” He began to address Natalie directly, “I am so,  _ so _ incredibly lucky to have you in my life. Before I met you, my life was awash in tones of greys. You have brought color to my existence. Before I knew you, music was just empty sound. You make my heart sing.”

_ What the fuck is happening?  _ Natalie knew her face must be entirely red from feeling more and more strangers’ eyes boring into her.  _ This is so not Luce at all… who the fuck is this. He would never in a million years say anyth-- oh no. What is that. _

Lucifer produced a small black box from his coat pocket.  _ Oh no _

He dropped down to one knee.  _ Oh no oh no oh no _

“Natalie, my love,”  _ Oh no oh god oh please no no no no no _

“Will you marry me?”

He flipped the lid of the box up, and there it was. 

The hideous bird ring. 

The smile at the corner of his lips threatened to burst through his face. Their fellow diners stared at Natalie with bated breath, unable to see the monstrosity as Lucifer had cleverly shielded it with his hands. 

Natalie shrieked with laughter as the nearby patrons looked on in horror.  

She was still giggling as they walked to Lucifer’s car. She had to admit, he got her good. “For a minute there, I thought you were actually going to propose to me!” For the first time that night, Lucifer threw his head back with laughter. She loved these moments when he allowed himself to fully emote in front of her. 

“Would that really have been so bad?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow down at her, grinning evilly.

“Ugh, please,” she elbowed him playfully, rolling her eyes .

  
  


Thursday, November 24, 2016

Natalie’s family usually didn’t do a big sit down dinner for Thanksgiving. It tended to be a “food is ready around 1-ish and we all grab a plate and hang out and watch football” sort of affair. Normally, Natalie looked forward to this day as a casual day to spend time with cousins, aunts, and uncles that she rarely saw. But this year was different.

This was the first year Natalie would bring  _ a boy _ to Thanksgiving  _ to meet the family _ . 

It wasn’t that her family was rude or bigoted or anything like that. They were barely even passive-aggressive. The problem was that they were all master pranksters and jokesters, always quipping at one another. 

It was all out of love, of course. But she still gave Lucifer a heads up long in advance, as he could be incredibly reserved (and sometimes more irritable) when he was around a lot of new people. 

So Natalie was relieved to see that Lucifer appeared relaxed around her family. He even joked with Uncle Harry, who regaled him with the same stories of his time as a deep sea fisherman that everyone else had heard a thousand times over. The only person who seemed to give Lucifer any flak was her brother Max, who’d always had a bit of a protective streak when it came to his little sister. Even then, it was mostly limited to side-eyes and stern looks, for which Natalie was grateful. Lucifer really won her family over when he started making cocktails. He was particularly impressive when he somehow managed to make “the perfect nonalcoholic old fashioned,” which was supposed to be impossible, according to her dad, who was now 5 years sober. 

As the afternoon turned into the evening, and Lucifer continued to seamlessly join her family, Natalie began to relax. They were all crammed in the small living room, having small side conversations, ignoring the halftime commentary on TV. Lucifer rose from his seat, waving his arm to get the room’s attention. “Hey I just wanna say something to everyone,” he said, probably louder than he needed to.

“Speech!” Natalie’s cousin yelled from the other end of the room. Her other cousins echoed him, and the family laughed. Natalie’s dad lowered the volume on the TV. 

Lucifer smiled warmly. “I just want to say thank you, to everyone. You all have made me feel so welcome here, and I truly feel like a member of this family, even after knowing you for one single afternoon. Even though my family is huge, I’ve never felt this much love and warmth in a single room before.” Natalie felt her eyes stinging from his heartfelt words.

“I especially want to thank Natalie for bringing me here to meet all of you.”

“AWWWWWWW,” her cousins mockingly crooned.

“No really! I would not have met any of you if I hadn’t met her.” Lucifer crossed the room and pulled Natalie up from her seat on the couch. “There is so much good that Natalie has brought to my life. Her light outshines the sun, the moon, and the stars all together.”

This monologue was beginning to sound worryingly familiar. Then Natalie noticed that Lucifer’s hand was in his pocket.  _ Is that-- _

“There is no sound greater to my ears than the sound of her laughter, no sight more beautiful to my eyes than her smile. The goodness within her makes me wish that I was even a quarter of a man who would be good enough for her.” He pulled his hand out of his pocket and dropped to one knee. Natalie’s youngest cousin gasped.

_ Oh no. Not again. But what if he’s doing it for real? No, he can’t. That would be ridiculous. But in front of my family? _

“Natalie, my dearest love,” Lucifer said, tears of love stirring in the corners of his eyes. “Will you do me the honor of bringing me into your family… for good?”

She honestly had no idea what she expected to see when he flipped the lid of the small box. But there it was.

That awful ring.

The technicolor monstrosity burned Natalie’s retinas as she struggled with the moment. 

For the first time in… well, ever, really, her family sat in stunned silence. The tears in Lucifer’s eyes were tears from holding in his laughter. Natalie buried her face in her hands and groaned. 

“Are you serious? Oh my god, get  _ up _ ,” she said, grabbing Lucifer’s elbow and attempting to bring him to his feet.

“Nat, what the f--” Max’s expletive was interrupted by their father’s laughter as he saw the ring. Lucifer’s grin threatened to split his face in two. Lucifer turned and faced the rest of Natalie’s family, showing them the haunted piece of jewelry. As the reality of the prank dawned on them, their laughter slowly grew from relieved giggles to uproarious laughter. 

“This one’s a keeper, Nat!” Uncle Harry yelled, gasping in between laughs and wiping tears from his face.

She couldn’t help but laugh with her family, and she went to the kitchen to pour herself another glass of wine. 

  
  


Friday, August 25, 2017

“Please, for the love of god,  _ behave _ tonight,” Natalie said to Lucifer, looking at him in the mirror while struggling to close her earring. She always forgot that that one would stick. “I’ve only been at this job for like five months, and this is the first time I’m hanging out with people outside of work.”

Lucifer sat on the bed, tying his shoes. “I have no idea what you mean.” His face was neutral.  _ Too _ neutral. Natalie narrowed her eyes at him but decided to drop the issue. Moving in with her boyfriend at the same time that she started a new job was maybe not her best idea, but after five months she thought she was finally getting into the swing of things. In both areas of her life. 

“Besides,” Lucifer continued, maintaining his stoic exterior, “since when have I ever been anything less than angelic.” 

“Don’t forgot what the actual angel Lucifer did,” Natalie said, finally deciding to forgo that set of earrings and switch back to her usual simple hoops. “Okay. Let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”

They were fifteen minutes late. Natalie apologized profusely as she approached the table of her friends. They had filled up a booth in the corner. Two people were already standing, so Natalie and Lucifer followed suit. To Natalie’s relief, the group was still waiting on a couple more people. In the meantime, Natalie introduced Lucifer to everyone, and they ordered their drinks. 

The night was largely uneventful, but fun. Natalie’s anxiety about spending time with her coworkers melted away at drink 1.5. Even Lucifer relaxed sooner than she expected him to, although he was not immediately all smiles they way he was with her family. Which was fine.

Before they knew it, it was last call and they recoiled from the suddenly brighter lights of the bar. People started to say their good-byes when Lucifer stretched his arms wide and stopped everyone from leaving. “Wait,” he slurred slightly, “I have something to say.”

_ Oh no _

“I  _ LOVE _ THIS WOMAN!” Lucifer pointed at Natalie.

_ Not again _

“She is the only blessing I’ll ever want or need in this life.”

_ Not here, not now _

Natalie nervously glanced at her coworkers and let out a weak giggle.

“I would go TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH for this gal. I would… I would fit the ocean into a single bottle! I would destroy all of creation and make it again if she asked me! I would make the sun and moon enter the ultimate dance off!”

_ He’s not even really drunk _

“Natalie, the light of my life, the moon and my stars, the yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my marshmallow fluff...”

Her eyes were already closed, and her hand was covering her face as he kneeled and raised the evil box. 

He’d already opened it this time. She couldn’t even bear to look at that horrid misshapen lump of clay, its bright colors threatening to melt the very corneas of her eyes. 

“Will you marr-OW!”

Natalie kicked him lightly. “Stop it.” Her coworkers and the bartenders stared at her, bewildered. She sighed and began telling them the story about the horrible ring and his past false proposals. By the end of the story, her coworkers were visibly relieved and everyone was laughing at Lucifer’s dedication to the prank. 

One of the bartenders had been listening intently. “That story is cute as hell.” Murmurs of agreement from Natalie’s coworkers. “But it’s still closing time. Pay your tabs and get out.”

  
  


Wednesday, April 4, 2018

It was a quiet night. They went on one of their usual walks through the park. The air was cool, but not too cold. There was a slight wind that tickled the hair on your head, but was ultimately unobtrusive. There was nothing really special about this night, but it was peaceful. It was nice.

They mostly walked in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. The kind of silence where they appreciated each other’s company and needed nothing more than to know that the other was there. Occasionally one would comment on this, or that, and their walk would continue. 

“Our first date was three years ago, wasn’t it?” Lucifer mused. Natalie hadn’t really considered it, but now that he mentioned it, she realized he was right. 

“Wow, three years.” 

“Yeah, that’s a long time to put up with your annoying ass.” Natalie rolled her eyes at his statement and walked ahead of him, suddenly very interested in that one tree that they had passed many evenings before. “I’m kidding, Nat.” She ignored him.

She heard his footsteps stop behind her. “Nat. Nat. Naaaaat. C’mon. Nat.” She finally turned around to see him kneeling before her, small black box outstretched in his hand. 

“Oh, not this again Luce,” Natalie said impatiently. “It’s really not that funny anym--”

Her words were cut short when he opened the box. Instead of the brightly colored nightmare that plagued her for almost three years, there was an actual honest-to-god diamond ring. It wasn’t very big or ostentatious, but it was elegant and inconspicuous. It was perfect for her.

“Your ass is annoying, but I know I annoy you a thousand times more. Please let me annoy you for the rest of our lives.”

Natalie realized she was crying. “This is the worst proposal ever.”

“I know.”

A few beats of silence, filled only by crickets and the leaves in the trees slightly rustling. Natalie broke her stare at the ring and looked back up at Lucifer, who seemed frozen in anticipation of her answer.

“So?”

“Yes. You dummy. Come here and put that on my finger.”

Lucifer’s face broke into a wide smile, and he too let tears of happiness fall. He slipped the ring on her finger and then kissed her. They embraced. 

As they held one another, Lucifer said, “You know, I got the other ring sized too if you’d rather--”

“Aaaaaaand the moment is gone,” Natalie said, breaking their contact and wiping her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” 

She took his hand and they walked on.


End file.
